Summary
Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. Too often we borrow someone else’s version without realizing it. The problem? You end up chasing goals that don’t match your values—and miss the fact that you may already be successful by your own definition.
When most people talk about “success,” they usually mean money, fame, or status.
That’s at least the definition we’ve typically inherited, the one you see everywhere. And if you’re not careful, you tragically end up adopting it without question.
But if you don’t define success for yourself, you’ll spend your whole life chasing someone else’s.
That sounds fine until you realize the thing you’re chasing doesn’t even line up with what you value. You can climb the ladder, only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall.
For me, I had to get clear on what success really means. It’s not about driving the nicest car or running a business that makes millions.
My definition of success is simple: providing a home for my family, clothes to wear, food to eat, and the means to create shared memories together.
Thats it.
That’s what matters to me.
That’s what I want to build my life around.
And honestly, by that definition, I’m technically already successful.
I think the danger of borrowing someone else’s definition of success is that you’ll ultimately end up optimizing your life for the wrong goals. You’ll start making choices that look successful instead of being successful. Worse, you begin attaching your happiness to hitting milestones that may not even matter to you.
That’s the prison of comparison, and as Teddy Roosevelt once alluded to, it steals joy long before you ever get to experience it.
The better path? Define success for yourself.
Ask: What actually matters to me?
Ask: Why does it matter?
Ask: What does it look like in practice, day to day?
And once you have your answers, guard them.
Don’t let anyone else redefine what success “should” look like for you.
Because the truth is that success isn’t always a finish line. Sometimes it’s a reflection of alignment and living in step with your values, not someone else’s expectations.
And if you’re already doing that, then by God, you’re already successful.
At that point, be glad. Be content. Be grateful.
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