Back in my ministry days, I had a mentor who flat-out refused to put up with self-pity. In fact, to this day, I vividly recall a meeting I had with him.
I walked in all out of sorts. Why? I honestly don’t remember.
To be perfectly honest, I was probably struggling with decision overwhelm – not that I had been making decisions, but rather I was obsessing over which ones to make.
My inability to choose (anything) routinely caused me to spiral into periods of stress, anxiety, and depression. I’d compare myself to my growing, happy, and successful peers, which only resulted in feelings of failure.
The spiraling intensified. I was stagnant. Stuck. I needed someone to tell me what to do. So I sat down with my mentor to get his advice.
The Moment I Received Clarity
When I walked into his house, he signaled me downstairs to his basement office. He was smoking a cigar in front of the fireplace, windows cracked, which let in winter’s chill. He motioned for me to take a seat next to him.
“How are you, Matthew?”
“Doing alright.”
“Are you done yet?”
“Done with what?”
“Your naval-gazing.”
Ouch.
Word had gotten around to him that I was between a rock and a hard place — and that I had put myself there.
My mentor said it’s perfectly fine to go through periods of doubt, of uncertainty, and to fret over the decisions you have to make.
“I just don’t know what’s best for me,” I told him. “What if I’m wrong?”
“JUST MAKE A DAMN DECISION, MATTHEW. If you’re wrong, then you’re wrong! It’s not the end of the world. You make a change and keep going. It’s messy, but it’s how you figure it out.”
I don’t know why I remember that day so well, but for some reason, it was the permission this perfectionist needed to take a series of leaps into the unknown.
In a way, it was my kick in the pants to grow up.
The Impact of Making a Damn Decision
That advice has propelled me over the years to try new things, to royally mess up, to get it wrong, to get it right, and to unleash new levels of confidence in my capabilities.
That advice is what took me around the world advocating for victims of human trafficking. It’s what moved me to Atlanta. It’s what landed me in the arms of a wonderful spouse of 11 years and counting. It’s what inspired me to get my master’s. It’s what propelled me to pursue a successful career in copywriting. And so much more.
All of that to say, if you’re feeling stuck, if you’re feeling stagnant, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the decisions you have to make…
Just make a damn decision already!
Pick a direction and go.
Who knows, it might just change your life.
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