It's Okay to Say No.
The Copywriter Column #78
Who controls your time?
If you’re a parent at home, you’d probably say your kids do. If you’re an employee at work, you’d say your boss. If you’re a freelancer desperate for money, you’d say your clients.
But the reality is that you are responsible for your time.
You are in control of what you say yes and no to.
This was made blatantly clear to me this week as I balanced my own deadlines alongside urgent asks from my team and demands from home.
It also rang true when I witnessed a close friend decide between attending a work meeting or picking their child up from daycare (are you freaking kidding me?! — they chose their kid).
So how do you decide when to say no and when to say yes to demands on your time?
It all comes down to having a firm grasp of your priorities, goals, and values.
If you can’t easily identify those things, stop reading this right now, grab a pen and paper, and start writing.
Ask yourself:
What do I need to accomplish?
What order do I need to accomplish them in?
What are my goals?
What types of decisions should I be making to achieve said goals?
What’s important to me?
At the start of each week, I identify my top 3 priorities for the days ahead. This week, I intentionally blocked off time on my calendar to work on those tasks.
Then I guarded those times like a hawk.
Inevitably, things come up. Part of my role is to help my team, so when things come up, I want to respond.
To overcome communication delays, I indicated in Slack when I was doing deep work and that my responses could be slow.
I set expectations.
Problem solved.
Despite the demands on my time (from team, clients, etc.), I still kept the main thing the main thing.
What about outside of work?
This is when knowing what you value is important.
My family comes first. It’s not a question. My son is at daycare from 8:30 until 5:30. His bedtime routine begins at 6:30, which means we have about 1.5-2 hours with him in the evening.
So? So… it means if you want to do something with me between the hours of 5:30 to 7:30, it ain’t happening.
Because I’ve identified my goals, priorities, and values — saying “no” to the wrong things so I can say “yes” to the right things is so much easier.
Am I perfect at this?
Absolutely not.
But am I getting better? Yes – one percent, little by little, every single day.
Honestly, I think that’s all I can ask for.
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